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User blog:ThaChompyLeader/Remodeled Hunters Draft (Prologue + Other Chapters)
Yep, I'm finally doing it, guys. I'm finally tackling this beast. But first, I want to do something a little different - I'll write the whole story out here as a draft, which I would appreciate people read and help me to revise, before I put it in as a page. None of the Hunters 'books' were editted and therefore are pretty crappy, and I'm don't have the energy to revise something nearly 3 years old. As a pre-warning, this redone Hunters will be a little more violent (not super bloody or gorey, of course), but it won't be descriptive, just a bit more realistic. Such as humans actually getting hurt for once, lol I appreciate all and any feedback, as long as it is constructive (if it is criticism) and helpful (ideas/criticism). Things, of course, will change as I write this, so nothing is final. Hopefully, these remade Hunters stories end up being much better than their originals, which is my main goal here. Time to dust off my keyboard and get back into writer's mode... Prologue Draft #1 It was a bad month for the town of Caspernal, and it was just about to get worse. "I have had enough of this tyranny," A skeleton leaned against a tall tree, shrouded by the shadows of the moonless night. Though he had no flesh or muscle to express much emotion, it was clear to his friends around him that he was angry, as he clenched his jaw very tightly. "Those humans, thinking they can just push us out with their expansion. We should just storm the place and end it now, while they're all asleep." "That's not very smart," An old creeper next to him rumbled, voice cracked with age. "Their Iron Golem will tear us apart while they're this active, even at such a night like this." The skeleton scoffed. "Says the puff," A younger creeper hissed at the older one. A ripple of mild shock passed through the group of monsters. To this insult, however, the elder did not respond. A zombie moaned. "So are we just going to wait out this night, like all the others?" "We have to wait for the right time," The elder creeper spoke with patience. "If we do not time this perfectly-." "Mios, we've been waiting for forever! "Just a little longer." Silence descended upon the group. The soft hum of crickets sounded from above a tree nearby, filling the air with a faint, whispy melody. An hour ticked by, then another. The thumping feet of an Iron Golem was present during those long hours. Other large groups of monsters shuffled on their feet quietly, slightly separated from the others, anticipation crawling upon them like a slippery snake. The wait was nearly unbearable. At last, the heavy footsteps of the Golem ceased. Mios nodded and began silently creeping out into the open in the direction of the village. The others soon followed. The grass hardly made a sound, though the skeleton was having trouble masking the soft clacking of his bones. The other groups stayed put. This plan had to go perfectly - one group lure away the Iron Golem, and all the rest invade Caspernal. They arrived at the nearest house and pressed against the wall. Sounds of snoring echoed from inside. Mios stalked across the wall, then peeked around the corner. A huge Iron Golem, battered and damaged from battles long ago, stood with its back facing the house. Mios quickly ducked his head back around to the safety of the house and silently motioned the others that the Iron Golem was present. His worn heart steadily rose in beat from the adrenaline of their expedition. The door to the house was on the wall on the other side, though reaching it would be difficult without alerting the Iron Golem. The skeleton's hands were shaking, both tightly wrapped around his tattered bow. Mios nodded. The skeleton silently drew back an arrow. He let go. A soft thwump echoed, quickly proceeded by the sudden shuffling of metal feet and a pained groan. The skeleton exhaled sharply, then stood out in the open, shooting it again. The arrow made its mark in the back of the golem's head. The Golem turned around, staring at the skeleton for a brief second, before grunting and charging. The skeleton suddenly screeched, startling the other monsters, and fell to the ground. An arrow was lodged in the back of his skull. Then another flew through the air, nearly striking the zombie. A human stood in the forest not twenty yards behind, flashing purple bow drawn, another arrow about to fire. On his tattered blue T-shirt was embedded a name - Blake. The monsters scattered, confused by this new threat. Blake shot arrow after arrow, many of them making their mark. The zombie toppled over with a scream after being struck in the chest. Mios tripped after getting shot in the foot. The Iron Golem chased around the younger creeper. The other groups of monsters, concealed by the shadows, grew panicked, as they were not expecting this man to appear and disrupt the plans. The plan aborted. The groups screamed and flew out of the forest like maniacs, determined to destroy. The human shot with amazing accuracy and speed, downing many of them. A few creepers exploded, rudely awakening the villagers inside their homes. The monsters that had avoided the piercing projectiles Blake shot began to charge him, furious. The man took out a sword and began to engage in combat. An arrow from a skeleton struck his shoulder, though he ignored the stabbing pain and fought on, clearly very experienced in the art of fighting. While he was fighting, Blake was vaguely aware of the sudden dropping of temperature, though to this he ignored. The clamor of battle roared in his ears. Some villagers started to spill out of their homes, disturbed by the loud noises. This was immediately noticed by the other monsters. The Iron Golem swatted monsters away left and right as quickly as it could, but more monsters were spilling out into the commotion, alerted by all the nosie. It was growing to be too much. The man heard a deep-throated shout. He felt hope flood him as he saw other humans, friends that he recognized to be Bill, Henry, and Steve, that lived by him, spill out into the village. They fought immediately, taking on all the nearby monsters full-force. The tide quickly turned to their favour, the air filling with the explosions of creepers and the mournful cries and wails of the dying. It was a terrible sound to behold. The cry of Mios rose into the air, greatly pained, as he fell to the ground unable to rise again right in front of a child villager, an arrow lodged in his back. Blake's friends started huddling in one group, clashing with the monsters, forming a tight circle around the citizens of Caspernal. Arrows started to appear on their legs and arms and shoulders, but there was no time to treat any wounds. Many close calls were made, near-encounters with villager and monster that were quickly ended with a flick of a sword. He sighed with momentary relief after assuring himself that no villagers had been severely hurt yet. Some of them had a bruise or a few cuts, but that was as bad as it got. He felt a searing pain in his back as a zombie sliced him with an iron sword. Yelling, Blake striked, knocking the zombie unconscious, before rushing into a creeper and thrusting his sword into it. His head throbbed and his heart refused to beat any slower than light speed. Leaning against a wall, Blake blinked the weariness of sleep deprivation out of him before promptly returning to the fight. Then, something quite inexplicable caught his eye. He recognized the form of a man, though he could not tell who, for his back was turned to him. The air got very, very cold all of a sudden. Blake had never seen this person around before. And just as soon as he saw it, it was gone. Simply vanished from sight. He shook the thought away from his head. The battle was close to being over. Some stragglers started to run away, afraid that they too would lose their lives. Blake's remaining friends shouted in triumph, while the villagers all relaxed a bit. The man sheathed his sword and looked around. Many monsters were lying on the ground, limp and lifeless. Thankfully, none of the villagers seemed to be very hurt, and none dead. His friends began to relax some as well, though still alert to any possible stragglers. The bodies of all sorts of monsters - zombies, skeletons, creepers, spiders - were scattered across the ground, staining the grass red. For the creepers, gunpowder oozed from their wounds. All things that would wash away in time with some rain, but still a gruesome sight to behold. This sight did not bother Blake much - he had definitely seen his fair share of worse things in the battlefield. The little creeper, horrified by all the bodies of his friends, stood in complete shock as to what just happened. "Mios?" he whimpered. The Iron Golem heard the ltitle creeper's cry and started to approach it. The creeper scampered away in a hurry, back to the forest in which he came from. Never again would he experience this. ---- BAGGGHHHH THIS FIGHT SCENE IS SO LONG. Please post any errors you spotted (grammatical and spelling-wise), ideas, or feedback in the comments. I literally just wrote this off the top of my head, so it's probably kinda bleh and it will change soon. Edit: The encounter between Blake and the unnamed superhuman is going to be moved to another chapter. I took out his overall involvement in the battle so that it's less obvious that he's there. It's probably guessable as to who it is if you read the conversation between me and TheSlimeKing. 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